Sometimes, being a social butterfly isn't a good idea.

This is just a short little posting, primarily due to the fact that I'm very busy with school lately, plus I'm way busy trying to find a new place to live because my current living situation reminds me of a whorehouse and a circus combined with a tiny ass kitchen.

Essentially I live with three other people, and they’re not too bad. I make one of ‘em laugh sometimes with my stupid tangents and I don’t really talk to the other one but whatever, not talking is better then stabbing them in the face for not shutting up.

Now, the third one, is basically a bro but about ninety pounds and 5’11. The broad doesn’t do dishes, she lives on messy shit that sticks to my fucking baking pan such as pizza and sugar-based-sauce-things. As anyone knows, when sugar melts into a pan, it’s a hell of a time to get that stickyness off. You’re suppose to soak it in warm water. Guess who has never done that and now there’s a permanent layer of stickyness on her 15$ pan? Yeah. Never buying another pan for this house ever again.

Essentially, the other night I was talking to my best friend back home at like, two AM because he figured who else would he call while waiting for the pink panther cartoon to come on television? Regardless I didn’t mind because he and myself are aware I have the sleep pattern of a narcoleptic crackhead. Soon enough I was ranting on the phone about my living situation because my friend had been complaining about his. I primarily went on about how she incessantly has her boyfriend over overnight, which doesn’t bug me, it’s the fact he’s in my house more then I am and he’s already caused the microwave to explode with popcorn. Very loudly. She may have heard it. Annnnnywho, I’m out of this place in April/May, so soon enough I won’t have to deal with their constant banging, shouting and videogame playing. By the way, all of this usually happens at about six AM.

TWO HOURS BEFORE I NEED TO WAKE UP.

In other news, not a whole hell of a lot is going on. I’m stuck in Summer school for Anatomy and Physiology apparently because I’m basically braindead, er that’s what my family said. Plus side is I can visit home for the last time in three years in June for about a month and some days.

Today, I was hanging out in the mingling area in the university with my laptop because I hate the campus desktop rooms. This guy in his probable 40’s asks me at random “Hey, do you have any extra time so you can make some money on the computer?”

Of course my broke ass was like “O rly. Maybe. What do you need done?” figuring he needed my computer to write an email or something.

Yeah, no.

He asks me to post an ad for him on the local ad database, which was fine to me because I figured he wanted to get rid of some old clothes or something.

Again. Yeah, no.

He asked me to post he was selling a “recently bought” queen size mattress and box spring for $350..............and there’s blood on both of them and will consider trades for a smaller bed

He then asked me what I’m taking in school and I said psychiatric nursing and he goes “Oh, I’d make a good psych nurse. I use to be a patient.”

WWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-------

Anyway, I posted the ad and didn’t bother to ask why there was blood on this mattress that was just recently purchased. Creepy.

Cheers.

University sucks...in March.

It's that time of year again.

No, it's not Christmas. It's March. From an academic standpoint, March is the one month out of the year where being a student sucks. It's academic rape. Most students can deal with April. Sure, you have a few exams, maybe a paper due in April. However, after April twenty-something you can sleep/drinkyoursorrowsaway/get your significant other back because you dumped them after you got that shitty mark on that one paper back but now you're totally "willing to make it work". ....for the summer.

No matter what program you are in, you cannot win. Your major could be fucking basket weaving and you'll still have to weave fifty-two baskets. Academic institutions know you're going to procrastinate whether you're eighteen or fifty-eight. In turn, they do the procrastinating for you and place due dates at the end of the year, which is March.

In the past week and a half, I have been sleeping on average of three to five hours a night and my weekend is going to consist of giving out free samples of spinach salad and fruit and writing out twenty-five pages of papers and 2 pages of math and studying for three exams I have in a week and a half. In two weeks I have two more four page journals due and a self analysis page thing to convince my interpersonal communication professor not to fail me.

In time of stress it's best to talk to friends. I have three. Two of which are busy with their own classes. I found so far, when I talk to the last person, a literal shitstorm of stress. He called the other night to talk and at that point I had been awake for two and a half days and living on pringles and energy drinks. Almost immediately, like as soon as I recognized the voice, I began to rant about interpersonal communication and how it is unfair you cannot take things you say back and how unfair it is that communication can be almost as detrimental to a relationship as not communicating at all.

The irony of this hurts me too.

Oh yeah, did I mention I said all of this to my ex-last relationship?

Yes, communicating on how much communicating deteriorates communication skills.

Anyway, In terms of things that are going on in my end of the woods – there isn’t really much of anything. Primarily because I’m up to my eyeballs in anatomy and physiology and there is no sight of end in these fuckin’ woods.

In the last three weeks my anatomy professor has talked about 1. Drinking piss 2. coprophagia 3. Sheep skin condoms. In depth.

Also, I may be stuck in Manitoba for the summer.

Cheers.

We Live in A World Where Loneliness Is Frowned Upon

The world is not designed for people who are alone.

Between 1976 and 2008, rates of people who claim to feel lonely often has increased over 50%. Possible contributers include the almost fifty percent increase in divorce and the increased amount of stressors people experience in todays society.

Loneliness is also one of the most ignored emotions. You can make someone smile when they're mad and sad, you don't really have to do much when they're happy but when someone's lonely, the last thing someone wants to do is just to be there. There is no reward, there is no benefit, there is nothing to gain.Essentially it is the easiest job but yet the most disliked.

Support systems are what keep people from waking up one day and going postal on the people in the environment they frequent the most. When someone is alone, there is no support system. There is no outside voice to help reason, no reassurance and increased vulnerability.

life is all about give and take. Use and don't use. Relationships are social capitalism. Nothing is free and there's probably an interest rate. Nothing is done unconditionally and eventually when something that benefits you more in any-way, previous usage of old resources runs out. Or, someone throws their hands in the air and shouts that they're done.

Humans are the most resourceful species in the world and as well as the most self-destructive. I think this is because we're so focused on trying to keep themselves content we don't bother to look at the environment around them and the relationships that actions our behavior effects.

Millionaire Matchmaker. Dear Society: What?

So, I just got done with University...for a week. Some of you might be inclined to say "AWESOME. YOU GET TO SLEEP!"

Yeah, no. I get a week to memorize 700 pages of anatomy and write three papers and memorize terms and the occasional thing or two for my other classes.

However, I am also the definition of procrastination - I sat down the other night and watched the television show Millionaire Matchmaker. The gist of the program is "Boy has too much money to be socialized into normal relationship so he ironically pays someone way too much money to find him a dingy-wine-drinking-broad he can bring home to his probable drunk rich folks."

Duckface?

This is the woman who works the magic....mushrooms.

When she actually does organize a shindig-mingle-thing, the women who audition are well aware that they're vying for dudes who got buckets of money. The whole set up is ridiculously awkward, then the guy has to choose two out of the ten or twelve girls to go on a ten-minute-superduperawkward-date.

Essentially, the difference between an expensive hooker and the concept of this show is that that the girls cast are not openly saying they spent a good amount of their college years dancing on a sweaty, syphilis ridden pole. That's probably for date number two.

Cheers, fools.

This is what happens when I watch early morning television

If there's one thing I don't like about Fridays, it's that I have a second year Research Methods class at 8:30am. This means I have to wake up at 7am. The stupid class itself is only an hour long and I spend an hour getting to the class and back. Did I mention that it's the only class I have on Fridays? Yeah, told you. Stuuuuuupid.

Anyway, I got home today and I wasn't sleepy anymore so I made some breakfast turned the TV on. First thing I looked at. Rachael Ray. Eugh. On the plus side, she was making waffles with a cool apple/roasted mixture on top I'm going to try to make next week. Her next segment however, made my Friday worse then waking up at 7am to do menial math I'm never going to use. This segment was on wingwomen.

I totally get that valentines day is coming kinda soon, but jesus christ is it an extra slow news day? She's basically promoting this business some pompous turd from New York came up with. It's called wingwomen.com. The website itself is so vague and poorly drawn out it just screams

ESCORT SERVICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

*Sex not included

Basically, they send women with guys to help guys talk to girls, 'cuz you know how hard it is to talk to girls when you live in a city that has over ten million people. The website goes on to explain how women feel more comfortable talking to other women, which is sort-of true - BUT, if this broad is telling me to talk to the awkward flirty guy she is with, it's only going to put up a creepy craigslisty red flag that tells me "HEY, WANNA HOOK UP WITH ME AND THIS GUY?" Or, "Hey, this guy is more socially retarded then the guy next door that collects chickens. He evidently is a total creep so he hired me to trick you into thinking he's totally rad. I am just reassuring you that I'm a bro with a vagina and do not care how safe this guy is. I work for a weirdo who makes a killing on even bigger weirdos."

Essentially the whole concept looks like an overpriced (75 bucks an hour!), vague-poor-taste business project a high schooler would design.

Personally, I don't understand why the guys profiled on all of these networks that did segments for this business just don't call up a group of real, unpaid friends and go out and save himself like 300 bucks plus a whole lot of dignity. Communication isn't that hard.

Cheers!

I kick ass...in the kitchen!1!1!!!1!oens

I haven't updated this in ages, primarily because I've been up to my eyelids in academia. Stupid Anatomy & Physiology eating my soul. I've been trying to save money lately and one step of it is cooking my own meals and watching way t0o many episodes of 5 ingredient fix on the food network.

Don't judge me.

Here's some of the concoctions of what I've created in the kitchen.

Chopped carrots, bacon wrapped chicken pieces and cheesy breaded pieces + jones soda

It tasted pretty good, however rather then the cheesy things your best bet would be to replace them with a small baked potato or something because the greasy cheese is overwelming because after I had to eat bacon wrapped chicken pieces (baked, not pan fried is best and a tad healthier). This dish tasted AMAZING with the Jones soda though. It kicks rootbeer out of the pond.

This second dish is freakishly easy and cheap to make and looks all fancy-like if you're bored like I was when I made it. It's basically baked butterflied chicken breast with chicken/steak rub and some pepper with whole grain rice (about 1 1/2 cups) with Worcestershire sauce with baked fries (not many) and cherry sauce garnish but it's all dressed up and looks like something you'd have to spend 13$ on in a restaurant for the picky eater sibling you have. It tastes best when you eat it with either a cup of milk or cream soda drink-wise.

Lastly,

MUFFINS!!1!!!ONES

I fucking love muffins.

I was in the grocery store picking up some random things for dinner and saw that rainbow cake mix was on sale for two bucks. Hell, yes. Two bucks. Of course I picked up a box and realized I didn't have a good cake pan but I had an old muffin pan. This was after Christmas and I had realized I didn't get my roommates anything for Christmas so I went nuts and also picked up strawberries and icing and chopped almond slices. Yeeeeeeeeees.

Alright, so I had all the mix in and did all the mixing and combining and stuff only to realize I had no muffin wrappers. It's like minus 30-something outside and there was no way I was leaving the house to pick any up in that nonsense so I just made the muffins without 'em.

I caramelized some strawberries and filled about 1/4 or 1/2 of each muffin container and stuck a caramelized half strawberry in it and filled the rest about to 2/3 or to the very top with mix because I'm a total risk taker and hucked it in the oven and hoped it wouldn't wreck my landlords stove.

This is the half way point of these muffins.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaang.

This is the point where I'm thinking FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

I patiently paced in my kitchen for the remainder of the time hoping I didn't have to fix this 800$ stove.

NOPE. NO FIXIN' FOR THIS LADY!

These muffins turned out amazing, the strawberries made them a little harder to take out of the muffin sheet because a few had sunk as they cooked to the bottom and almost got stuck to the container but I managed to get them to cooperate. I decorated 'em with vanilla icing + sweetened coconut flakes with almond pieces. At this point the seventeen year old girl who lives upstairs walked in the door and was essentially drooling at the coconutty-strawberry smell that was throughout my house. I gave 'er one and she said something along the lines of

THESE ARE SO AWESOME!!!!111!!! I LOVE WHEN YOU BUY GROCERIES!!1

I made a different dish the other night but I forgot to take a picture, It was linguini with chopped carrots, diced chicken, cream of broccoli, alfredo sauce with parsley, thyme, pepper, paprika (very little) with a thin layer of shredded mozza cheese on top. Bake at 350 for about 15 for the cheese on top to melt and for the cream of broccoli to heat up a little and BAM. DONE. Add crackers if you have them but it isn't a requirment, just ensure you don't add too many or it will taste too crunchy and salty after it bakes.

I'll try to update this more consistently, I might do up a review on a movie and go on a philosophical rant or something in the near future.

Cheers!

Who procrastinates? Laura does!

It's 11pm and I'm still procrastinating studying for my exam. My exam is in 8 hours. So, I figured I would update my blog as I haven't updated it in like, two months. Obviously, nothing is really worth being updated. Still poor? Yep. Still unemployed? Confirmed. Still living in the armpit of Canada? You betcha'!

I'm pretty stoked that this term is coming to an end, however it is not really a huge change from what classes I have to take next term, aside from being done lifespan development in psychiatric nursing. Instead my course load falls off the boat and contracts super-AIDS and goes from two to six.

Lately I have been hitting up the gym more then Jerry Springer contestants hit up dollarstore pregnancy tests, and it's been fun. Mind you, all I've been doing has been dancing like a fool four days a week, which is otherwise deemed Zumba Fitness. Zumba kicks ass. All you really do is literally run, and dance and it totally helps all parts of your body and kicks doing push-ups and sit-ups awkwardly in the middle of your living room as your roommate/spouse looks at you and laugh out of the water - Run-on sentences rock!

The holidays are quickly approaching and I haven't started Christmas shopping. I walked through the mall yesterday and there was an army of soccermoms and dads invading every clothing store as if they were on a game show. Which makes me really just want to cook people food, or bake cookies for Christmas. Or, better yet; to dress up as the easter bunny on Christmas day to confuse the daylights out of everyone. I'm not saying what I'm going to get anyone as I am more paranoid then a methhead at a rave when it comes to who reads this blog. I'll probably change my mind on Christmas eve anyway.

I'm going home for the first time in two years for more then 4 days for Christmas, which is probably more of a bad idea then a good one as the last time I went home I wanted to rip my hair out within two days.

Awesomepossum.